Not Posting, yet I’m drafting

again i am drafting words by words

and saving them not posted

not cause i feel  that they’re bad

they’re just so true about me

if they will read they’ll come to know

what i am feeling, what i am thinking

i am not worried to be judged

i am afraid of being non-sensed

sometime one word can say a lot

and may be even tell the story

about how I feel myself

right now, thats why i am so worried

i’m drafting and i am not posting

like keeping it for better days in file

i guess its opposite, the feelings

to post the sad one when i am fine



Today one of my facebook friends had liked a status of one man, it was a very sad post about how he misses someone, how it has been a year since he saw that person for a last time, He called her an angel and described how painful was their last good bye.

I got curious and i started click by click learn more about that man, a man i have never met in my life a man who had change my thought of life and made me feel that my life is not all bad and i need to learn how to be more happy every day and cherish the love of people around me.

This man lives in the same city as me, and at first after looking at his recent post i would say that he has normal life, by his posted pictures i could see him enjoying the company of his friends or how he enjoyed the day at the beach, and his status said that he is married, i clicked and clicked and scrolled and scrolled.

they got married about 2 years ago and after 6 month the picture of his wife were different, still with the bright smile but with the sign that she was ill. I could see their love for each other through all the pain they went through, their love was a weapon they used to protect their time together. She passed away about a year ago and he still carry her in his heart, he still misses her and he often tag her name in his posts as if she was still with him in this life. 

In a moment i felt like writing him a message and tell him that i hear his sorrow and i wish he would recover fast, but then i already saw how he is surrounded by so many friends and i felt like he might think i am psycho.

There was as well a video last video they have made together, its a thank you video to his friends from all over the world who helped them with their donations, i can say she was not a person who would give up easily she would still brightly smile.

This is how that random person had change me today, this is how that person captivated my thoughts and i wish one day i have a chance to meet him personally, hold his hand and tell him “thank you and you are going to be alright”

I hope he would not hate me for going through his life via facebook.


xoxo Nat