The policy of moving in with your boyfriend ( papa’s rule)

In post USSR period lots of new things got into our lives, like sort of a freedom of opinion and freedom of action for young people, we have became a bit bold with what we say less care what others will say about our actions, Thou I say we, I have to say that i am still living till now by the social rule of 90s or 80s.

Growing up in USSR on top of everything in Korean family, was taught in so many ways, rule number one was never make your parents down, always make them proud, so they could brag about their children and other could praise them. It was one sensitive part of each parent and each family, and till now this is what my parents still want, and i have to say this weight is very difficult to carry, each and every decision I make and step I do will effect their life in a way, so you do the imagining.

Going back to being bold, one day I found my father sitting on the bench in front of our apartment building so i sat next to him and i asked  what he was thinking about man and woman moving in together without getting married, i was only 15 that time. I was expecting my dad would look at me with the judging look that could make me run away, or to tell me to shut up and stop asking stupid questions but he did not react anything like that.

– hmm

he said

– what i think about it? i have anything against it, if it done in a right way then that should be no problem at all

he said

– what you mean by correctly?

i asked, still shaking inside, from a shock that i could managed to ask my dad this type of question.

my father did not looked at me once he just continued with his thoughts about it

– well I think in a way this is good idea to try to live with man before getting married to know if you are a right match for each other, because marriage should be for life, but before they both move in together, they must have their own places to  return to, not back to their parents houses, they must have they own home to return to, where they will feel comfortable after the split , and live without any judging comments of their parents and their parents will not get judged. And if they have siblings still living with the parent that will be even harder for them to handle, just put yourself in this situation and think how would you feel living again with your younger brother and sister after that, you will never feel like you are home again, you will always feel like you are guest.

after saying this all, again he did  not looked at me, i think because as per his living world rule he was not supposed to say this to his daughter, I think he was feeling a bit awkward as well as me. He raised up from the bench and walk toward the building entrance, we never spoke about it after that, but this i will never forget.

after I have left the country and moved to UAE the first i saved money for was my own place, and i go it !!!