My mom’s evening makeup

Since I was small I had looked at my mom putting her makeup on daily basis. In the morning and evening, even on her days off. I remember her trying different ways, always trying our new lines, new colors. Every time i saw her putting makeup in the evening after shower, i was asking her is she is going out, but she would always say ‘NO”, when i will ask her why she is putting her makeup, she would say “Just like this”.

When I grew a bit older, my mom’s habit dd not change, still the same morning makeup and evening and always during her days off.

Now my mom is retired and she is most of the time at home, but makeup is always on, in the morning and in the evening.

No like my mom at all, i was always preferred free make up look, i loved my hair simply straight down and with age i have started to apply aging preventing creams and oils. Very very occasionally, due to some events, i would put my self together but applying BB cream and Mascara, and again no lipstick.

One day during the family dinner, my father said to me, that i should use makeup, and start to look after myself, “you are not a teenager anymore`’ he said. Though during my teenage days I loved putting makeup but he always scolded me for that, but this not why i don’t like makeup. I don’t like putting make up because the make up i able to put is very simple, even if i put it on, people will never see the difference, the reason i can not make complicated makeup with super eye lines and do smoky eyes, because my left eye is very week and i can not see with it properly, so if i close the right eyes i can not draw the pretty lines, so no matter how hard I try my eyes are always uneven. But i can never say this to my parents, in order not to make them worry.

But back to my mom. Once i had my friend visit my family with me fore few days. He was really amazed by the way we follow the traditions at home and how clean my mom can be in terms of the household. He was telling the story about this visit to everyone. And once, while telling the same story to one of our friends he said that he never saw a woman as my mom, he said that my mom should be an example to all women. He has notice that my mom will brush her hair and change her close to take the trash been outside and she was always does her make up retouch in the evening before my father come home from work. BEFORE MY FATHER COME HOME FROM WORK. So this how i have learned why my mom was putting evening make up on everyday, till now, on daily basis, for more then 35 years.

5 Years minus 5 month

why now alone, i think about you

and go through pictures by myself

and why its always in the nighttime

I feel like i missing you again

then staring at the wall with cup of coffee

i go through memories of us

they are so clear, they are detailed

first kiss, first night and first break up.

and with the TV sound on a background

i read old messages you’ve send

and suddenly i want to call you

and want to hear your voice again.

I press the button call and waiting

when ringing tone starts to play

and i will look at coffee table

and watch how your phone stars to vibrate.

its been three years since we are married

5 years since we have met

and it has been 5 month since i am lonely

and make your phone ring every day.

The Sound of the Brand New Day

that sound of the morning thoughts

will move your body closer

the sound of the morning linger

will make me ask for hug

the sound of the moving eyelids

will wake up all my wonders

the sound of the sniffing cat

will make it all complete

the sound of the moving curtains

will tell me what is waiting

the sound of a brand new day

will make me wanna live

Cup of Time

like empty cup on empty dining table

i have a story, to be told

same lipstick mark a little on it

same lonely feelings in a vibe

like ticking clock in an empty house

i have a story to be told

the arrows moving only forward

same life is fading, can’t go back

once cup was warm and filled with taste

but time has taken all away

once i was warm and filled with taste

but time has taken all away

MADE

you’re made of all unspoken words

they are like cells creating stories

they draw the lines next to your eyes

each time you smile, each time you worry

you’re made of feelings, that you’ve stored

they are like overloaded closet

they pump your heart with every beat

each time you hug me, i can hear it

you’re made of love, you need to share it

this love is all that i can see

it brights your soul, this how I’ve found you

you were the one who sparkled on a rainy day

Regret

I’ll let you go

right now, right here

i want to let you go

because in seconds i’m gonna change it all

i might regret

no, i regret

because the life without you is a mess

I’ll clean it all

I’ll wipe it clean

I will erase

i will forgive

let go of me

and go

let go of me

there is no love

you are a habit

my everything

an air, water, and a soul

i might regret

no, i do regret