i wish you happy new beginning

a clean white page, a fresh new start

i wish you Happiest New Year

another year to celebrate the life

Live long , be healthy, have much joy

go travel far, eat only yummy

find new, lose old, and treasure present

and never ever be alone




In hours of day, there will be new beginning

for people hopping for the best

in hours of day, there will be new beginning

for me who’s waiting for a change

in hours of day, there will be just a day

the normal day with other number

in hours of day there will be day

of life to live, and to remember

I wish you all to find a new beginning

or wish you keep on doing what you love

i wish you all to find true meaning

of your existence in this life

please love and live and be so loved

because this feeling is amazing

to know that you are not alone

to know that you are living

Believe can not be different

why do you think that  my believe is different?

it teaches me to trust and how to love

now tell me if its different

i know it teaches you the same way to your life

and as for me for you its always in your heart

and as for mine your soul is his creation

when you address him looking into sky

And so am i and so am i

will your believe will tell you kill them?

no, it will always say use love

and my believe will never harm you

and it  will always teach me to be kind

we both sometimes a bit inpatient

and both sometimes can blame them all

but all we learn from this believing

its never ever lose the hope

now think of it and call me sister

we both the same, we both believe

in somebody above us

in somebody who knows our names

how many heavens there could be?

how many doors for us to pass through

i do believe and you believe

forgiveness can’t be different

Lost hint of feeling

I wanted to write about something,but  i don’t remember

I had this hint of life and then it disappeared

I wanted tell the story of a person

but now i lost the trails of it

Who was that person, and why i wanted

to put his life in words, i still don’t know

I guess I’ve share one of his feeling

I think I really understood him very well.

if it was happy feeling or a sad one

I really want that hint to hit me once again

i just remember that the feeling

will look so different with the pen

Say I love You ~ Japanese movie in pictures

Thou this movie is already out in DVD and everyone have seen it already and waiting, as me, for english subtitles, here are some details in english with pictures. Hope it will entertain you till you are waiting for english subs for this movie

Mei Tachibana (MT)

Mei was a social person before, but because of an accident that made her classmates put the blame on her, she decided never to befriend anyone again. At first, she is described as “freakishly gloomy” and “doesn’t speak”. She is anti-social and clumsy, as well as observant, honest, supportive, and funny.

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Yamato Kurosawa (YK)
One of the most popular boys in his school. Asami describes Yamato as someone who thinks of others more than anyone else, protects what should be protected, and cares for others despite having his own problems to deal with.

Film start with the school festival and students are all over the place, Kenji Nakanishi (KN) and YK spotted MT at the corridor and NK plays a prank on her, but MT just turn and leave without even saying any word. This how YK has noticed MT

say i love you

Next time when KN had decided to pull MT skirt she kicked YK instead of KN and screaming “Stupid”, making YK laugh.

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So now everyone in school has notice MT and all school is taking about MT how she kicked the most popular boy in the school.

say i love you

At the shoe locker YK approached MT and apologised to her, thou it was not him he says, but since KN is his friend he felt like he was responsible. and then he asked her to be friends, MT refuses the offer saying that she doesn’t need friends, he asked for her number but she refused to give and instead he gave her his, thou she refused to take it he still put the note into her jacket pocket and told her to call him because he will be waiting. In return MT handed over him a bandage to cover the wound on his hand, he says thank you and he thinks that one won’t be enough so she give him few more and tell him this will be enough and leaves.

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MT walks by school corridor and YK is running after her calling her name, when she finally stopped, he asked her why she never called him till now, because he was waiting for her call all this time. She said that she had no reason to call him. he asked if she calls her friends only when she has a reason to call, and she relied that she has no friends and only numbers stored in her phone is her home number and number of her mom.

In the evening after finishing her part time job at the bakery MT has noticed that man is following her, so she had entered to the book store and tried to call he mom, but she did not answer, then she found a note with YK number and called him, asking for a help. When YK had found MT she showed him a man and YK told her that he is a stalker and he knows what to do,

say i love you

They both went outside they stopped at the entrance and he faced MT telling her that he loves her and then kissed her, without taking his eyes from the man, who then left.

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YK asked why MT is acting like this and he finds out that it was her first kiss, while trying to explain her that why he did it, she stopped him by telling him he knows and no need to talk about it more.

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On the way home YK asked Mei why she was like this and what make her feel better alone, and he told he if she doesn’t feel like talking she can avoid answering, Mei explain YK her past experience in a childhood, but YK was trying to make her understand that not all the people the same.

say i love you

Next day YK invited Mei to join them t the karaoke after school, he promised het it will be nice, then Asami Oikawa (AO) asked em as well, so she finally agreed.

say i love you

While they were enjoying singing AO and MT were talking outside and AO asked Mei if she likes Yamato and there are rumours are going around about their kiss. That made MT agree  she grabs her bag and run outside, Yamato followed her.

say i love you

When YK made her finally stop she asked me why did her kissed her, he said that he already explained her, then she told him that the rumours are all over the school already, he then catch her and kiss her again, she asked him what was it for, he said he just felt like. Then she yelled at him saying that he goes and kisses everyone around and not even care about others feelings, then he kisses her again and says this is my greeting kiss, then he kisses her again and says that this is for a cute someone as MT, and kissed her for a third time and says that this is a kiss only for the person he is ready to go further with, and then he asks her if she likes him if she will not answer him he will kiss her again.

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Instead she says that her heart hurts, YK says that this is what happen when people like someone and gives her another kiss

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At school KN and AO are trying to find out about their feelings and with help of Yamato and Mei they finally confessed to each other and started their relation ship

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Looking at both walking in hands Mei tell Yamoto that she is happy that tings worked out for both AO and NK and Yamato said that NK said that it thanks to you. Em said that it also Kurasawa’s deed and YK wonders if one day Mei will call hm by name, Yamato, she called I’m Yamato, then he asked her that one day he want to hear her saying that she likes him

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YK and MT both go on a date and wile shopping they met Aiko and Masashi

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and YK tell them that them that he is on a date with Mei

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They all go play bowling together , this is where Aiko had asked Mei if she liked Yamato and Mei said that she is not sure yet, angry taiko tell her that she and Yamato had been already intimate.

On the way back Mei looked at her self in one of the shop windows and Yamato asked her is anything wrong she said nothing, then a woman approaches Yamato trying to scout him to be a model but he refuses telling her that he is not interested

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Em then says that him that she think that they are too different and they are not match, he is so good looking and famous and she is too plain for him, then Yamato asked her to go with him to a place he wanted to show her something

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YK brings MT to his old school and told her a story about how bad he was buying kids in the school and how how he could not protect is friends from the guys in school.

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In return Mei tell him that she is scared of her own feelings and Yamato is telling her that thesis time for her to do what er heart is telling her to do and why toots doing something that already has a beginning, and he had already started to like Mei.

Em then asked YK if its true that he slept with Aiko, and he says yes, but it was before he met Mei. He asked her if she now dislikes Yamato, Mei said no because people change and thanks to Yamato she already changed

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New school period starts and they have a new classmate Kai, and Kais is the that friend Yamato was telling MT about in his old school yard

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Yamoto is relieved to learn that Kai is still considering Yamato as his friend and there are no  bad feeling between them.

Mei and Kai get close as friends and often were caught talking during the class breaks and AO had told Yamato that both look close.

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After school everyone go to Karaoke and Mei finds Kai sitting outside by himself, they talk about think they like and don’t and Yamato noticed thatchy get closer that make him feel jealous

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After that Yamato is trying to kiss Mei on the bridge out of sudden, when she asked him whats wrong, he just hugs her and asked her not to leave him

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and she replied that she is not leaving him

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Kai comes to see Mei at the bakery to tell her that he wants a rearrange over that guy who used hit him at school, but Mei is suggesting that heating him now will be the same act what they did, won’t it be better for him to show them that he had become a better strong person in words.

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However Kai is still not convinced and he went to the school to find that boy to beat him up, but when he met him and other y even did not recognise him he had been caught out of guard and let him just be

Next day he will tell this to Mei and she will tell I’m that she is glad to hear that.

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Later Kai will confess to Mei about his feelings and will give her the tickets to the park but Mei will refuse and say that she like Yamato  and she is sorry and appreciate his feeling.

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Kai then speaks to Yamoto and tell him the truth about what he feels toward Mei and tells him that she preferred YK, so he just wanted to warn him not hurt Mei

One day while being out with his friends he met famous model Megu, Megu noticed him and asked him if he is interested in modelling but he says that he has no interest in it

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However later Yamato agrees to try and Mei said that she doesn’t mid him to try. At first photoshoot all friends come to see Yamato and Megu

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The picture are out in the magazine and everyone are so surprised that YK look so professional

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then Yamato  says that he had another offer for another photoshoot, tis time Mei says again that she doesn’t mind.

But after few days, she started to feel unhappy about Yamato spending so much time with Megu, she started to worry about Yamato becoming a bit distanced and she tell this to Aiko and Asami.

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Sami told Mei that she is s well a her has unsecured feeling about her relationship and it is normal to feel tis way, she is also sorry that she didn’t know how Mei felt about Yamato all this time. Niko at the same time tell her that it is notramal for man to cheat but it is now all in Mei’s hands she need to tell Yamato how she feels.

Next day, while MT is walking by school corridors she hears how others talk about how Yamato and Megu look god together and it was mentioned in Megus SNS that she is currently thinks a lot about someone she spend lots time together

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Hearing this Mei runs away from school

Same time Yamato is looking for Mei and he met Aiko, Aiko is asking to have a word with him and shows him Megus comment on SNS, Yamato is saying nothing is going on between them, but Aiko is angy and told him its not her who need this explanation, he need to tell this to Mei because she is not happy and she saw her leaving alone a while ago

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After doing some thinking on the way home Mei has decided that she need to tell Yamoto what she feels so she runs back to school and looking for MK

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After she find him she pulled him closer by tie and kissed him, then she told him that this is her first own given kiss and this is to show to Yamato that she likes him, and then she asked hm not to leave him

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Yamato says sorry for all the things happened recently , and he assured Me that he loves Mei and only Mei and there is nothing between him and Megu

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Mei is relived hearing him and they hug

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So thinking are back to normal and one the way back home Yamato wants now to hear one things from Mei is for her to say that she loves him

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and she said ” Yamato I love you”


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Who you Are ~ Jessie J

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh yeah yeah

I stare at my reflection in the mirror
Why am I doing this to myself?
Losing my mind on a tiny error
I nearly left the real me on the shelf
No, no, no, no, no,no

Don’t lose who you are in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing
It’s okay not to be okay
Sometimes it’s hard to follow your heart

Tears don’t mean you’re losing
Everybody’s bruising
Just be true to who you are

Who you are, who you are, who you are
Who you are, who you are, who you are no no no no no no
Who you are, who you are, who you are who you are who you are

Brushing my hair, do I look perfect?
I forgot what to do to fit the mold, yeah
The more I try the less it’s working, yeah, yeah, yeah
‘Cause everything inside me screams
No, no, no, no, no,no,no,no

Don’t lose who you are in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing
It’s okay not to be okay
Sometimes it’s hard to follow your heart

But tears don’t mean you’re losing
Everybody’s bruising
There’s nothing wrong with who you are

Yes, no’s, egos, fake shows like whoa
Just go and leave me alone
Real talk, real life, good luck, goodnight
With a smile, that’s my home; that’s my home
No, no, no, no, no

Don’t lose who you are in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing
It’s okay not to be okay
Sometimes it’s hard to follow your heart

Tears don’t mean you’re losing
Everybody’s bruising
Just be true to who you are
Yeah, yeah, yeah


i think i am still looking for my perfect monster out in the planet earth

Mix tape of thoughts

where is my superman who saves the world

and saves me from the dragons

who lift the train and makes me fly

who can protect me from the morons


Where is my prince on white brave horse

with sword so sharp and shiny

who always make my heart beat fast

who is so handsome and so charming


where is my beast to scare the world 

and show me all true meanings

who’ll wait for me to come

and open up my feelings


thou i’m not in living fairytale

and i am not a princess

and he is not charming prince 


but i am building him by pieces



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At Times those times

at times when nobody around

and you think that you on your own

at times when nothing has a colour

and your soul makes your body cold

at times when even thinking makes it boring

and book is heavier then tones

at times when you see nothing is a blessing

because what you can see it totally so wrong

at times when you can not avoid the sounds

that scratch your ears inside to pain

at time when you can scream the silence

that tears your lung away apart

at times those times are meant to happen

at time those times yet best to have.

Two rings -6-

-Leah! Are you in there?

Tina was walking by the corridor and calling for her sister

– Yes we are in here

Leah replied and walked towards the door to meet her young sister. Two sisters embraced in a long hug and Tina give her sister many kisses on both of her cheeks.

– i missed you too

Said Leah smiling at her always baby acting sister and slowly released her self from her

– we have a guest and its your guest

– My guest? where?

Tina looked at the studio and started walk fast toward the other room. Rick was still looking at the picture, when Tina saw him he saw a strange look in his face, but the most what surprised her he did not even took his eyes of it and did not even rushed to great her.

– Rick?

Tin runed to a man wrapped her arms around his neck and asked

– you did not even told me you are going to meet my family. Without me? Are you trying to get closed to my family behind my back?

Rick put his hands around her waist, a bit surprised by Tina’s act he smiled and said

– Sorry! Leah and Alex invited me and it completely skipped my mind. I should have talk to you first, I am really sorry.

-Did you see my room yet?

– No Not yet

– Lets go!

She dragged him by his hand and they left Leah alone in her studio room.

Leah laughed at her cute sister and screamed to her

– Dad is home!

– Ok

Leah heard Tina’s reply already coming out from away.

She looked around the studio and took a step toward unfinished picture. So many things happened in this studio, Tony proposed her here, and the news of his death was heard first here, while she was working on the same picture. Then she walk toward her picture there she was only 16, she looked that picture and her memories moved her back to the days oh her last year in high school

Leah was walking back from school, as usual as they agreed with her father she will take a bus for only one stop and then car will wait for her to pick up, Driver was waiting for her outside the car and she she has already noticed that Alex was inside the car, waiting for her, it wasn’t that often when they would travel home together, but Alex sometimes secretly jump in to Mr. Cho’s car and come to pick her up, so he could ask his sister to play at the playground on the way home or eat some street food. Alex was 7.

-Sis, don’t be angry, I have already promised Mr. Cho I won’t do it again, please forgive me just for the last time, there was no body home mother again packed her bags i saw them in the hallway.

-I am not angry Alex, i even happy to see you today, lets get something yummy on the way home and eat it with Tina.

Alex was very happy for not being scolded, he gave a big smile to Leah and nodded his head with joy.

On the way home Leah had noticed that they re going by different, not usual way home.

-Mr. Cho, can you please stop by Chinese restaurant, we want to have some food before we go home.

Mr. Cho did not reply anything, and was just driving, looking a bit nervous.

Leah took her phone and send a message to his father ” SOS”

Next message she sent was the name of the road and the name of the sign boards she saw on the way. After that she slide closer to Alex and checked his sit belt. She smiled at Alex kissed him and said.

– Alex, remember how i told you that you are a big boy already, remember how i told you that even if you are only 7 you can act like a real man, no matter how tall you are, you can alway be strong inside in your heart. What is the rule number one our father taught us?

– never to panic !!

– never to panic!!

Both of them were brought to a remote area, were nothing but naked fields and only only old unfinished wooden cabin, They have entered inside the cabin, and another man came inside, he tied their hands and legs and let them sit on the floor. Alex his eyes full of tears but he never made a sound, he was not taking his eyes from his sister, and Leah did the same. They said no words because Leah already said everything to Alex in the car, and both were ready and they knew soon their father come to save them, all they need is just to wait a little bit and not panic.

Suddenly man started to look inside their school bags, this is when he found Leah’s Phone this is when he saw the messages and after to take out all his hanger he slapped Leah on her face, lift her from the floor and said

– You are smart girl, but one thing you don’t know, i can do one thing to you and then you life and the life of you father will be ruined forever, i can make you hate yourself and your life and make you hate your father for the rest of your life.

Man was shaking Leah left and right scream loudly, when Leah saw Alex trying to move closer to the man she screamed

– Alex Stay still, Don’t move !

This made Man even angrier he throw Leah to the corner so hard he hurt her head and went blank.

When she opened her eyes all she saw is black colour, for a sec she thought that she became blind but after she blinked few times she realised that it was night and dark inside

– Alex?

She called for her brother hardly bearing the pain in her body and head.

– Leah i am here.

after she heard his brother’s voice she tried to move but she could not, she was tied so tight to the something she could feel her arms.

– Leah are you ok? leah i am not hurt don’t worry about me, i can not move because they tied me too but i can see you because my eyes get used, You are bleeding.

– Its ok, Don’t worry, about me i am Going to be ok. Don’t worry a little bit more and father will come to save us, just try to sleep, and when you will wake up we will be home already.

– I am hungry, Leah, and I wet my pants. You said i can be man but man don’t wet heir pants.

Leah heard how her little brother started to cry, she knew he was holding up for too long and right now little boy is giving up.

– Alex you should not cry, even man do wet their pants but it is not about it, it is about how they handle this situation, you should not be ashamed of yourself right now, I am very proud of my little boy, you are brave very brave and strong. So now do as i said try to close your eyes and sleep like this we can return home sooner.

– Ok Leah, i will try.

Her eyes slowly started to get used to the darkness and she saw her brother in the other corner of the room, he put his head against the wall and slept. She did not revered how many hours they had to wait because, she was going on and off but  she remembered that when she was awake again she was carried by Mr. Lee and it was morning and it was cold.

When she was totally awake she found herself in the hospital, it was very quiet and she saw Alex sleeping on the sofa in her hospital room, and she has noticed he did not change his closes yet.

– Leah, my daughter.

leah was brought back from the memories after she heard her father calling her name

– Father! you finally found me.

She said and give her father a hug and a kiss.

– You knew i was looking for you?

– when i saw that my room door wide open i knew it was you.

He smiled and give a bigger hug to Leah.