NO MORE ~ BEAST

 

 

왜 바보같이 날 못 잊고 그러고 있니
왜 아직까지 난 네게 좋은 사람인 거니
우리 헤어진 지가 벌써 몇 달이 지났는데
왜 아직도 넌 지난 추억에 살고 있니
좋은 사람 곁에 많잖아 새로운 사랑 시작해도 괜찮아
웃으며 네가 정말 행복하길 바랄게
헤매는 네가 눈에 밟혀서 새로운 사랑 시작할 수 없잖아
Oh yeah 이렇게 늦은 시간에 넌
왜 또 찾아왔니 널 떠나보낸 비겁한 나인데
문 너머로 들려오는 슬픈 울음소리
왜 또 찾아왔니 이미 차갑게 식어버린 내게
너에게 나눠 줄 온기가 더는 없는데
이젠 아니야 이젠 아니야 네가 기댈 사람
그래 마음껏 울어 그렇게 날 씻어낼 수 있다면
네 맘속 미련 다 지워낼 수 있다면
네가 아플 만큼 가치 있는 사람 아니야
예전처럼 너랑 같이 있는 사람 아니야
널 사랑해서 보낸단 그런 거짓말 같은 건 하기 싫어 난
오늘만 같이 있어줄게 얼른 일어나
손 내밀어 줄 수 있지만 이것도 오늘까지만
돌아갈 순 없어 알잖아 내 곁에선 행복할 수 없잖아
널 웃게 해줄 그런 사람 찾아 떠나 가
헤매는 네가 눈에 밟혀서 단 하루도 맘이 편하질 않아
Oh yeah 이렇게 늦은 시간에 넌
왜 또 찾아왔니 널 떠나보낸 비겁한 나인데
문 너머로 들려오는 슬픈 울음소리
왜 또 찾아왔니 이미 차갑게 식어버린 내게
너에게 나눠 줄 온기가 더는 없는데
그만해줄래 이젠 시간이 갈수록 냉정해지는 내 모습에
네가 상처받을까 난 너무 두려워
내가 보란 듯이 잘 살아가면 돼
이젠 더 이상 아니야 네가 기댈 사람
왜 또 찾아왔니 널 떠나보낸 비겁한 나인데
문 너머로 들려오는 슬픈 울음소리
왜 또 찾아왔니 이미 차갑게 식어버린 내게
너에게 나눠 줄 온기가 더는 없는데
이젠 아니야 이젠 아니야 네가 기댈 사람

Why aren’t you over me yet like a fool?
Why am I still a good person to you?
It’s already been a few months since we broke up
But why are you still living in the memories?

There are a lot of good people next to you
It’s okay if you start a new love
I’ll truly wish for your happiness with a smile
I keep seeing you wandering around
So I can’t start a new love
Oh yeah, at this late hour, you…

 

Why did you come to me again? When it’s me who’s too cowardly to let you go?
I hear your sad cries on the other side of the door
Why did you come to me again? When I’ve already cooled down
I have no more warmth to share with you anymore
No more, no more, I’m not someone you can lean on anymore

Fine, cry all you want, if that’s what it takes to wash me all away
If that’s what it takes to erase all the lingering attachment in your heart
I’m not worth the pain you’re going through
I’m not the same person who was with you in the past
I don’t wanna lie and say I let you go because I love you
I’ll stay with you just for today, hurry and get up
I can hold out my hand but it’s just for today

We can’t go back, you know that
You can’t be happy next to me
I keep seeing you wandering around
So I can’t be at peace for a single day
So I can’t start a new love
Oh yeah, at this late hour, you…

Why did you come to me again? When it’s me who’s too cowardly to let you go?
I hear your sad cries on the other side of the door
Why did you come to me again? When I’ve already cooled down
I have no more warmth to share with you anymore

Please stop, I’m getting colder as time goes by
So I’m afraid that I’ll hurt you
Just live happily as if you have something to prove to me
No more, I’m not someone you can lean on anymore

Why did you come to me again? When it’s me who’s too cowardly to let you go?
I hear your sad cries on the other side of the door
Why did you come to me again? When I’ve already cooled down
I have no more warmth to share with you anymore
No more, no more, I’m not someone you can lean on anymore

Funnel of thought about body constitution

Yesterday, after finishing my 1.5 hrs sweating and painful fun at the gym, I was passing by PQ cafe-shop and I have seen this picture. 

A very slim looking lady is enjoying a piece of cake with her same slim looking friend and that, exactly that made me feel so mad.

Its been a while i have had any of fast food meals, i have already forgot the taste of Burger and the french fries, and when i say cheese cake, the taste of it is no longer gives me that ring of the bells in my head because yes i don’t remember the taste of it as well. Most of the time i eat only that crunchy jaw braking Fitness cereal meal in the evening, I exercise twice a week in the gym, run  2 km, do weights staff, burpies, cranches etc…. and yet ………. I can not lose my weight. and what i hate the most is when people say “ just give up. its your body constitution

Constitution; they say that because you can not break it, and the only way to break it is to kill it, i mean no blood no change of constitution, so i guess the only way i can do it is to lay under the night of the plastic surgery. I know what you might say, you will say of this will cost you lots of money. And just think about how much i do spend on all this gym. enrollments, cereal meals and all those expensive organic, non fat, crap tasting crap. 

 

Of cause there will be no surgery for me….. the thought of all of this has funnel in my head while i was passing by that cafe and watching them eat cake, and being slim.

I went out lighted a ciggy and said, I still love myself just the way i am