My life with happy man

It happened that my life path brought me to one man who is different from others, his orientation and his way of living had shown me and taught me a lot. Watching him walk his life path i always thought of mine, and I always realize that my life is much easier and have so little to complain about. I dont have to hide my true me, i dont have to be angry at God for his creation and i am not pushed to be married to someone whom i will never be able to accept.

For him to be a gay is a sin as per his religion and he would never ever be able to come out, Once in a year he would travel away to have a breather, to a place where no one knows him to the place were he doesnt have to hide, and can openly look at other man the way he want to.

I will never forget that day when i came to know about his secret, i remember that i wanted to rush to keep and shake him hard so he would turn into straight man, thou so many people gave me hints before i preferred to pretend that they were mistaken.

He did not opened up to me i just accidentally or he accidentally add me to a wrong account. I have patiently waited for another 4 years for him to finally tell me the truth.

So many times i wanted to open that subject so he could at least feel free with me, so he could sit with me with free mind without controlling his thoughts about what he said.

After coming out he brought into my life another two wonderful people like him. we first get to know each from the facebook and one of them i have already met in real. Now after almost 4 years of our facebook friendship this year i am going to meet the second happy man. They told me the way people call them means Happy so i prefer to call them happy men, and i find it more convenient for me specially when i ask “Is he happy too?” and he would say “yes he is happy too”

To every person who lives a happy life i want to say that i am the person who is  cheering on you living on the other side of your world. I know i have a lot to learn from happy people and i bet that if you would try to think about their lives and the way they live you will change your way of thinking about your own lives. I respect my friend who being strong I respect him for being man and i respect him because he is a human being with the greatest heart, much bigger more kind heart that any one could even imagine.

Write now i want to address him here by the name because this post is all about him but yet i can’t because its still complicated. I just want to say “I love you my happy man for just the way you are and you need to know that love you more since the day you have opened up to me”



how often we ignore that look

of passing by us people in the streets

how often we ignore the sorrow

in the eyes of someone next to us


how come we have become so distanced

and always hide in own worlds

we just forgot that we are equal

under the shadows of the stars


admit that you are often sad

when people cannot see your sorrow

or when they passing my your look

and all you want to be just noticed


So this is what i have to say

lets look around left and right

so we can see the life of others

no matter what it’ll be; no matter if they happy or they sad


there is someone in this world who hates me

for something i have said or ‘ve done

and there is someone in this world who loves me

for just a silly smile i smiled


if you are one i’ve hurt; forgive me

and if you love me come to me

if your hate helps then please continue

if you still love me; please love me still


for me it means that i am just a human

and it has proof that you’re alive

for me its just believe that feelings

is guiding our souls through lives


there is someone in this world i hate

for something they have said or ‘ve done 

there is one someone that i can love

for letting me to smile that silly smile 




One of the things I really like to do is to surf the net before i fall a sleep, so post is another outcome.

I was going through the pics on instagram and there is one person i follow is Ben Baller, you may google his name and you can learn more about Ben and his amazing work but what will impress you more is the fact that he is friends with so many famous people, I have started to follow him because of my obsession with K pop and YG artists.

So i started my usual click by click, scroll by scroll; at first when you will look at his insta pics you would think this guy is all about show off, some of you might start envy him, because he has a perfect life according his posts. And this is what i have learn by his pictures.

I knew he is korean by blood, he is living in states, not sure if he was born there, but i think his life was not all this glamor rich and famous type of life. He has his own originality when it comes to his designs, and he has korean way of living life.

What would you think about the picture below


“Cool Car” and ” what about the doll?” This is what i thought and then started to read comments and this got more interesting. Some instagram users were rude and nasty, some were envious, some were impressed, but you need to grow up in korean family with korean people around you to understand what this all about.

If would have this car, i would post picture of it everywhere, if i could i would even stick the picture of it on the board of the supermarket just to show people that i own it. My mom will ring all her crazy bells to show it to each and every person she knows, this would apply for my Dad as well but in his situation is will double crazier then my Mom. But this will be not because they want to show up it will be like this

For my parents it will be like a medal for achievement, for raising me in a way that i have made my ways up, and first thing Korean people would say is that they have raised their child so well, and they gave to their child everything, Because this is the way they take things like this and they will not envy because of car, they will envy because they didn’t have that opportunity to do the same for their own children.

For me it will more of showing off my parents and they will not say to me ” you did well” they will say ” you parents did well”

Well i hope, you readers got me right here and i explained it in a proper way for you to understand Ben Baller as well.

So if you have time go check out his twitter and instagram account, i think you might find it intersting and eye catching, read the comments about the picture i have posted after reading my blog i think you may have another point of view.

What caught my eye is his cute son with the cute name London Asher.


Xoxo Nat






where is my superman who saves the world

and saves me from the dragons

who lift the train and makes me fly

who can protect me from the morons

Where is my prince on white brave horse

with sword so sharp and shiny

who always make my heart beat fast

who is so handsome and so charming

where is my beast to scare the world

and show me all true meanings

who’ll wait for me to come

and open up my feelings

thou i’m not in living fairytale

and i am not a princess

and he is not my charming prince

but i am building him by pieces



A sudden sunlight after rain

disturbs my grey wet weather

it makes me stop to think that

i can fly like lonely feather


That feather like to wonder in the air

and sit on people’s shoulders

and hear the thought they often think

and look at living wonders


now under shadows of the tree

i sit and hide from sunshine

and trying read the faces of

and look at living wonders


thou i can’t flybut i pretend

that once i was a feather

not human just a part of life

just flying light and always wonder




there are some days when i feel sorry

for many things i haven’t done

for things that i forgot to tell you

how much you gave me in your life

Today i miss you more then ever

i miss your eyes and warmth of words

for you just living in the planet

i miss you and you are not around

i want to tell you, hope you hear me

you were the greatest Grand Dad in the world

you are the person i needed always

to guide me thought my present life.

I want to tell you that i am thankful

for you to chose me as you blood

for all your love for all your patience

for you i am thankful all the time

no matter what they say about you

for me, you always be the best

the best of man the best of human

the best what happened in my life

you were my happiness then sorrow

now you are living in my heart

you were my hero now my angel

but you will always be my Grand Dad whom i love