The policy of moving in with your boyfriend ( papa’s rule)

In post USSR period lots of new things got into our lives, like sort of a freedom of opinion and freedom of action for young people, we have became a bit bold with what we say less care what others will say about our actions, Thou I say we, I have to say that i am still living till now by the social rule of 90s or 80s.

Growing up in USSR on top of everything in Korean family, was taught in so many ways, rule number one was never make your parents down, always make them proud, so they could brag about their children and other could praise them. It was one sensitive part of each parent and each family, and till now this is what my parents still want, and i have to say this weight is very difficult to carry, each and every decision I make and step I do will effect their life in a way, so you do the imagining.

Going back to being bold, one day I found my father sitting on the bench in front of our apartment building so i sat next to him and i asked  what he was thinking about man and woman moving in together without getting married, i was only 15 that time. I was expecting my dad would look at me with the judging look that could make me run away, or to tell me to shut up and stop asking stupid questions but he did not react anything like that.

– hmm

he said

– what i think about it? i have anything against it, if it done in a right way then that should be no problem at all

he said

– what you mean by correctly?

i asked, still shaking inside, from a shock that i could managed to ask my dad this type of question.

my father did not looked at me once he just continued with his thoughts about it

– well I think in a way this is good idea to try to live with man before getting married to know if you are a right match for each other, because marriage should be for life, but before they both move in together, they must have their own places to  return to, not back to their parents houses, they must have they own home to return to, where they will feel comfortable after the split , and live without any judging comments of their parents and their parents will not get judged. And if they have siblings still living with the parent that will be even harder for them to handle, just put yourself in this situation and think how would you feel living again with your younger brother and sister after that, you will never feel like you are home again, you will always feel like you are guest.

after saying this all, again he did  not looked at me, i think because as per his living world rule he was not supposed to say this to his daughter, I think he was feeling a bit awkward as well as me. He raised up from the bench and walk toward the building entrance, we never spoke about it after that, but this i will never forget.

after I have left the country and moved to UAE the first i saved money for was my own place, and i go it !!!


TAKE THAT – Took the lead of my life

Imagine 1993 i am only 14, i have read about TT in a very popular among teens newspaper called ” Ya Molodoy” means I am Young. I didn’t know nothing about those guys, by that time I never listen to their songs i have only saw their faces. A whole page was dedicated to the most popular boy bands of that time in the world, but living in USSR in Uzbekistan, how could I know whats going on outside the communism walls that was very strongly bullied  thou by that time the crack have already started to be shown but still the shield were very strong. 

Every time i had chance to visit the music store that used to sell home recorded tapes, with the list of songs written by hand on a the cover, I used to ask about TT, I was lucky and i got their second album, before hearing the first one, and then i got into TT madness like all the other teenagers around the world.  It was very difficult just to listen the tape all the time, i was hungry for more information I wanted to know everything about them, but i didn’t know how to do it at that time, just to make myself a bit satisfied i have started to learn the meaning of their songs they were singing, this is how i have started to learn English. a huge old vocabulary was like a peace of me those times and with my school level English i had to struggle a lot. 



Then I have post an add in the the same newspaper ” Ya molodoy” that i am looking for fans of Take That and i really need help. And the number of Letters i used to receive was unexpected, postman had to keep the boxes with the letter by my door because all of them would not fit in mailing box. I received lots of cut out from he newspapers , posters and even tapes with their unreleased songs, I was living in the cloud nine between the new songs of T and new letters from my new friend from different corners of the planet, and my English has improved and i have made it as my major. 

My nickname was Tasha Barlow, now need to explain why :). and my old friends still call me like this till now. I was dreaming to go to England and all i wanted to take a picture next to GB house.


1996 the world has turned upside down, but thanks to GB and his solo songs i have managed to go on. 

I have translated each and every song of TT into Russian to learn the meaning of song this helped with my English a lot and English helped me to get my job at 19 at the first 5* hotel in Tashkent and my English helped me to move to UAE at the age of 20 and all i am right now it is all because of TT and GB. 

I missed them, i have lost my inspiration without them, thou i was busy with trying to survive in this difficult life i always had TT at my heart, i have tried to check about GB at that time and i was very upset when i couldn’t make it to Howard’s DJ gig at that time Holiday Inn Bur Dubai, that time i felt like i have lost my last drop of happiness of seeing TT and their spirit. 

And then they have decide to return and they did, they have returned as a KINGS and they still have the same hallo  on me as they did before. 



Every time play TT old song i can return to my teens times, and I can recall the feelings and the thoughts and the joy when I gave TT the rights to lead my life with their songs. a

GB !! I Thank you for being my first love, my true inspirational my mentor and my idol, i am looking up to you till now and i shall do it always. 




Looking for a fresh heart beat

Well since my addiction to Rain (Jung Ji Hoon) is over now, i am looking for a new eye candy, to make my life interesting again.  Well i was looking into few possible candidates in Halluy madness and here are three new men who will possibly change the mood of my life.

Park Yoochun from JYJ, he is has proven to be a good actor and having great acting charisma, i simply loved him in I MISS YOU and in ROOFTOP PRINCE, he is tall and really kind looking personality, i think he can replace Rain and he has a great future ahead of him, not only with dramas and movies as well with the great music, so in this way he can bring me lots of joy and chances to look up to him even more.


My second choice will be K Will 🙂

you might say ” What a heck?” but i am one person who love with ears and his husky voice has been gradually taking my heart. Not all good singers can express a true feeling with the songs no matter how hard they try, but K Will with his strong ability to show and give his all to the each song he sings, made me feel that he is special, and his sensibility is unique to me.

I feel that no matte which song he will sing in the future with him singing it the meaning will be delivered correctly, and as a woman, who wont refuse a man with the big heart and good abilities to express the right emotions.

So what you think ?


The candidate number three is Song Joong Ki

No need to explain why I have chosen him, no need to describe why i like him, have you watched  ” Nice man” have you heard ” Really” ? if not then watch and listen and you will have all the right answers.


Ah! and i am big fan of his lips 🙂

Thunder in Rain’s ( Jung Ji Hoon) life

I don’t recall how and when I have started to admire Rain, i think after all the Korean drama Fever that i have got when my mom first sent me a “Boys over Flower” DVD.

Slowly i have turned in to K wave freak and not only K wave i have finally started to acknowledge

getImageCAQ0PZDITill now i believe that Rain is one and only real man looking actor/ singer in korean entertainment industry, learning about his background and all his way up into the stardom, made me fall for him more deeper.I have watched all his video, movies and dramas, read all his interviews i basically turned into Joony freak. and the sign of his stage name is Rain and i am actually rain loving person made this whole craziness even bigger. I have bit my farewell to him, and was even sad and had gloomy mood when he entered the army, i was very worried when they said he was not feeling well, and i was very proud when they named him as one of the best soldier in his base.  yes i did send him postcards and yest i did send him last xmas card as well, and yes i was more then sure that he did not read it. My friends all knew about my Rain addiction with my stupid posts on twitter and facebook, they even start to call him as my husband. my korean routs. New drama, New OST new Boy Band you can ask me I have the info, and then Rain happened.

On Dec 31 on NY eve one of my friend called me from London to wish me Happy new year and he wished for me to get over Rain. and now 01.01.13 and about 04am  Boom !! Kim Tae Hee happened and Boom !! Rain is no longer perfect as we all thought and Boom!! I have no one to admire any more. Just to tell you for you to know I was not madly in love with Rain, i was not all about I want to marry him ( since age 13 i declared to all my family including grand parents that i will never marry korean man) and he belongs to me and he is mine and no one can touch him or can get near him, No No i was not this extend crazy. I have just chosen Jung Ji Hoon as a object to admire to keep my life a bit entertained. If it would be only Kim Tae Hee nothing would change and he would still be my fav boy, but this all army issues made me think and see him a different thing. He should have stayed as a normal soldier, this is ow i wanted him to be and this is why i was so upset when he moved to Seoul for the Promotional position.  I am so upset that his perfect image is now ruined.

Reading all the judging and defending articles about this issue, and  I think none of this is helping him right now, he has made a mistake and his agency explaining y saying that he is too young made me laugh, bottom line – ONE PERFECT KOREAN MAN HAS HIS HEAD AND HEART TOTALLY CAPTURED BY ONE WOMAN WHO TURNED HIS LIFE UP SIDE DOWN.

After all he is just a human being and after all he is Man, i just wish he could control himself for a bit longer and go out from the army as a cool man and keep his status as a perfect man.