It is 23rd of Dec and it is two days since Jonghyun of Shinee has been laid to rest. But I Am being paranoiac since the day he had been found dead. I am constantly looking for more information for more details for more explanation and surfing the net for new updates. The media has already moved on and people from his agency started to act as normal in their job schedules, but why am I still stuck with this? I have decided to write just to move on, but in order to move on I need to put my thought out on this page.
I have never been fan of Shinee but I listen so many songs of Jonghyun and Shinee. I have even saw the boys twice, during the dream concert and once by incident at the mall. I remember myself trying to go deeper into the crowd and check who was there and when I could finally see who was on that stage I met Jonghyun’s eyes for a sec. It did not change anything, I am just saying that I was not related to Shinee at all in any possible ways.
Taking own life cross my mind many time before and at time it pops up, but it is always something I would never consider because I always knew that I will get over it one day and life will go on. I had a very difficult childhood and teen ages so difficult, so anything is endurable for me right now in this life. But thing I have to admit that most of the time I just had no guts for it.
He had fame, money, fans. I wanted to know what was missing. People around him had never noticed it and people who knew never paid attention to him. Emotional Lonely? so Lonely that he had decided to go through that. How planed it was, he did not do at his own place he did it in a rented flat, he went there with the solid confidence and he did it. And many usually say, that weak people take own lives, but I say no. Only strong people can do that, people who are weak cannot go till the end.
He was very emotional in many ways and you don’t need to know him personal to understand, just listen to his song and watch his performances. I am saying this because I can not stop watching all the videos related to him.
There is no one to blame, and if you have been next to him you couldn’t have stop him, he is not to blame for leaving he just used his 100 percent and he put all his life to archive it. He had reach the top where he could not archive more, though he made many people happy, the things is that there were not way to move forward and it made him unhappy. He had accomplished too much too soon.
It is all my opinion here, as I am saying I just needed to type my thoughts away from sleepless nights and gain my life back and make it run as normal.
Rest in peace Jonghyun, I hope you’ve reached the heaven safely and already dancing and singing with angels under the rainbow. You will never be forgotten, your fans will always have you in their hearts and your songs will always be a reminder of your great talent. You did great and you really work very hard.
Shawols please stay strong and if anyone anywhere int he world need to someone to talk to I can always hear you out.